First off, having a holiday once a year to celebrate your mom is nuts.
Second, I'm not that great of a mom. No, really.
To be honest and real I hate having my kids think they need to celebrate me and bring me a seedling in a dixie cup with a card telling me all the reasons they think I'm great.
This year my oldest had a school project for moms. Lets just let the photos do the talking.
Having just had a baby 10 weeks ago I do indeed feel like I weigh 441lbs. But WHY, why would a teacher add that detail?
Is she not a mother?
Yes, the project was sweet. It was tender and good hearted but it just adds to the many reasons I hate this Mothers Day crap.
I love that I can celebrate my own mother but I do that every day.
I have friends who are mothers and they are truly amazing. They have kids with feeding tubes, disabilities and fight for their lives everyday.
They deserves a holiday. They deserve a million bucks, a nanny, a housekeeper, bookkeeper, personal assistant and daily massage.
I just have three girls that I yell at too much.
My oldest is my practice run and I wont be surprised if she hates me later in life.
She is smart and amazing and funny and sweet. And I'm so hard on her.
That doesn't deserve a holiday.
My 4 year old can make a room bright just by being in it. She can say nothing and make you laugh.
I'm too tired to play hide and seek with her.
How does that deserve a holiday?
The 10 week old hasn't had a chance to see me at my worst. Well she has but I'm guessing she wont remember it.
I just look at these kids and ask why on earth they love me the way they do.
I'm all over the place with this but the point is, I get really tired of feeling like I need to feel extra special on this day when in fact I'll be doing all the same things on Mothers day as I do on any other day.
I'll wake up tired and make some coffee.
I'll nurse the baby while the girls decide what they want for breakfast.
I'll get out cereal, pour milk and sip coffee.
I'll hear about the girls dreams and other stories they have come up with in the 30 min. they have been awake.
I'll put the baby in her swing and find something else for breakfast. It will be a banana because I am trying to loose the baby 50. (or 300 according to Cailyn).
I'll put on the news so I can hear other adult voices and see what the weather will be like. Not that we'll go anywhere unless we run out of milk.
Cailyn will get ready for school while I nag about homework, hair and brushing her teeth.
Carly will ask if she has pre-school that day and if she needs to get ready too. If not, she'll stay in her jammies with me on the couch.
I'll kiss Cailyn good by and send her over to the neighbors to catch a ride to school.
At some point I'll get dressed in my usual black leggings and baggy top.
The baby will go down for a nap while I clean up the house and work on the never ending pile of laundry.
Carly will ask for second breakfast, lunch and after lunch snack.
Cailyn will come home from school and have a piece of toast with nutella.
Soon they will both be asking about dinner to which I'll make but they wont eat.
I'll clean up the dishes, put the left overs away (only to throw away the next day) and turn on the news or whatever show is on.
I'll nag Cailyn to do her homework, clean her room and get ready for bed.
By the time I get ready to kiss the girls good night I'm so tired of asking/ telling them to clean their room that I just go in all mad and pissy and tell them good night with a kiss on the forehead.
I put the baby down for the night and go back to my seat on the couch.
I'll think about why it matters that their room is always clean or why they refuse to clean it.
I'll think about what I need to get done the next day.
I do this over and over and over.
Its not holiday worthy.
Its not impressive or special. Its just life. Its just me raising my kids.
I love my girls. I love that they are mine.
I don't love being a mom everyday but I do love my kids.
I don't show it everyday but I do hope they know I try.
So please don't tell me Happy Mothers Day. Because I'm not just a mother on that one Sunday a year. I'm a mother every damn day whether I like it or not.
I don't want to hear about how lucky you are or how awesome being a mother is.
Its awesome most of the time but if we were all honest with ourselves, we'd say it was worth it.
Just that being a Mom is worth it.
Nothing less, nothing more.
I'll bet 99% of moms don't feel awesome about their mothering everyday.
But I bet they all go to bed knowing it is worth it.
I do anyway.
So tomorrow while you are at some brunch or your children are bathing you in gifts, I'll be perfectly happy if I get dressed before noon.
I'll have had a good day just by having a nice cup of coffee without someone screaming, hitting or crying at me.
I'll call my own mother and thank her for loving me unconditionally and not putting a pillow over my face when I was 17.
I'll wait for my husband to call and hear about his day on the rig.
And I'll be happy to know that even if its a horrible day,
Its worth it.
