My New Year Starts on Mondays

Its annoying that the New Year starts on a Wednesday.
All things should START on Monday.
Regardless of when the year starts over, Today is my new start.
I'm wearing my "Wake Up and Be Awesome" shirt and have been tracking my food all day like a Pro.
I started a 30 Day Plank Challenge last night along with my own made up Squat challenge.
I'm not even really thinking about the whole year but rather 30 days at a time.
If I can do something for 30 days then I can do it for 60 days. Then 90 days. Then 120 days.
I can't even think about what will be in a year but I can wrap my mind around the next 30 days.
If it gets crazy, I can always focus on one day at a time.
Nothing is more important to me then my husband and kids and this year I need to be a better me to be a better mom and wife.

1. I will be kind to myself during hard times.

2. I will celebrate my successes no matter how small or silly.

3. I will go down the FIT road.

4. I will spend less time on Facebook and more time with my kids.

5. I will be calm and thoughtful during hard times.

6. I will dance in the living room and sing in the shower. 

7. I will read to my kids everyday.

I have a few others that I will keep personal and private but you get it. 

Plan.

Set.

Do. 

Commit. 

Good Bye Christmas

I got a bit restless today and took down Christmas. All that remains is the wreath on the door and some lights on the deck.
 Its cold outside and I'm very comfy in my jammies so I think I'll hold off another day or so.
Taking it all down was so fast and easy. Putting it up took hours.
The house is neat and orderly and I like it that way.
The girls are playing in a messy room but that's starting to become a normal part of life.
Husband is hard at work in the oilfield world.
Its going to be very, very long 28 days.
He just left Wednesday morning. 2am kind of morning.
I decided I wasn't going to keep up Bergie's Buttons and Lace anymore. Not because I didn't love it but because I need to downsize.
My kids are either at a very annoying age or I'm at a very impatient age.
Regardless, I need to be a better mom and person to my girls. They need more attention from me.
I intend to give them a mom who cares. Who reads to them. Who listens to them. Who doesn't shew them out when I'm trying to work.
Bergies was a great hobby and it still is but I'm taking a much more lax approach to it.
Like I'll do make something if I want too or if someone needs something.
I want to sew anyway. I want to start learning how quilt/sew and make clothing.
That alone will take time I don't have.
I just think I've filled my time with so many of my own hobbies that I didn't make time for my kids and teaching them, playing with them and being with them.
They have so much stuff but they seem to never be satisfied. They always want more.
I taught them that.
Who else taught them that stuff wont satisfy?
Me.
If I can downsize my stuff than I can teach them to downsize their stuff.
The time we have can be spent together doing meaningful stuff.
Having kids is like have little mirrors walking around showing you your bad side.
Drives me nuts having a 5 year old who reminds me everyday of all the things I need to work on to be a better person.
Upside is if I can be better, so can she. She'll just copy me either way I go.

See, little bears. 

My little loves. 

Welcome Back

I'm going to start blogging again.
I stay sane when I remember things and write things down.
The past year was enough to drive anyone crazy and I'm surprised I didn't blog more.
Instead I got sad and anxious and lets just be honest. Those are two things no one wants to be.

Our year started off with my husband and a horrible back injury. What we thought was going to be surgery and a three month recovery turned into 8 months of unemployment and uncertainty.
We finally had the surgery in May and the recovery began. During that 5 months we lived off of our savings and hope. I didn't think I would need to find a job and Lord knows I didn't have the skills to find a good paying job. Month after month we watched as our savings became smaller and smaller. It hit me as I was driving home from my once a week job at Weight Watchers that I was going to have to find something and fast. As I passed my neighbors house and saw her school bus in the drive I decided to stop. I could drive a bus. Why not? I went in to talk to her and burst into tears. I feel foolish now but I remember the feelings of fear and sadness and just wanting someone to tell me what to do.
She told me to apply.
I did. And I got it.
It didn't start until the following school year....about 6 months away.
But my foot was in the door.
I felt this overwhelming feeling that things could get better. They might just get better.
I continued to search for jobs in the area until I was able to get hired on with a hotel and a mortgage company.
Between the two full time jobs I was only making enough to pay the bills but not the mortgage on our house.
I worked 7 days a week and only saw my kids in the morning before I left for work. My husband who was recovering from a lumbar desectomy  was now also being Mr. Mom.
This is where  it got hard.
He was so good at it. He made all the difference in the world in this whole experience. He took our little girl to kindergarten registration. I missed it.
He combed the girls hair and got them dressed in pretty dresses everyday.
He filled the pool so they could cool off on the hot Utah summer days.
I missed that.
He hugged them when they needed a hug and kissed booboo's and wiped away tears.
I missed it.
He planted a beautiful garden, cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked the meals and did the grocery shopping.
I had been nothing BUT a Mom for 5 years and I didn't know how to do anything else. This is just me being VERY honest. I was horrible in the mortgage office. It was a miserable job for so many reasons but mostly because I just didn't know what I was doing.
Working at the front desk at the hotel was mind numbing boredom every day.
 I hated driving up the road, away from my house every damn morning. I cried almost everyday just wishing Corey would get better and go back to work so I could stay home.
I prayed that life would be normal again. I cried every time he would send me a picture of the girls playing or catching a fish at the ponds.
 I didn't think life was being fair and I let that sadness cover up all the REAL blessings that were happening all around me.
Hind sight is always 20/20.
Corey went back to work for 18 days before Ensign pulled a fast one and "let him go". They didn't have any work for him. They didn't need his 10 years of oilfield experience anymore. His 7 years as a driller wasn't necessary to his position.
It was like having someone kick you in the gut. Just to be a dick.
Corey had been our strong one. Now for the first time in his life he had to find another job.
I was well on my way to becoming a bus driver for the local school district and getting my CDL.
Corey was home again with our girls looking for another job.
I felt like if I could just get up in the morning and be positive that something good would come of all this.
We sent out so many resumes!
I was sending them, Corey was sending them and at the end of the day we had no idea who we'd sent one too.
Precision called one morning while I was at work and told him to head to Grand Junction for an interview the next morning.
He went.
He got the job.
He started about 2 weeks later.
He works 28 days on and only 14 days off.
Its a hard schedule but we make it work.
So that was our year. Thats why it was hard.
Eh, we made it. We still love one another very much and our girls are growing up to be beautiful little monsters.
Its Christmas day and Corey is hard at work. There aren't any presents under the tree because we had to open them last Saturday. Its just me and my two girls on a cold December day.
And life is good.
Our lives are blessed and I'm more and more aware of it everyday.
Our Savior is the reason for the season and the reason for my happiness.